Sunny

When my songwriting dreams moved me from my St. Paul roots to LA wings with $35 in my pocket, I figured I’d move back when it was time to start a family. Motherhood was “a decade away,” while Sting, Ray Charles and many other artists were recording my songs. I was so looking forward to writing at home while raising kids. Eventually, though, motherhood became a decade of surgeries, IVF, surrogates and tears.

How does a woman spend Mother’s Day, Christmas Eve, Easter or any random day, knowing she’s outlived her children? Is it possible, for any loss, to choose gratitude over pain, grace over sadness, peace over grief? In time, yes, and the only time we ever have is right now.

Right now, I can choose to be thankful for the memory of my first surrogate telling me she was pregnant on Mother’s Day. It was the most exhilarating news of my life, the most amazing love in my heart, the most intense power of expectation. I’d seen parents yelling at their kids in grocery stores, ignoring them in malls, disrespecting them in parks and just ached to have children of my own that I could unconditionally care for and nurture.

Over the next few years, however, all 39 of my children died before the second trimester. Many only lived a few days in the petri dish, cells miraculously dividing, trying their best. I have photos of them, before they ever learned how to smile. I never got to hold any of them, show them how to play the piano or sing songs to them. I saw their hearts beating in ultrasounds, spent six figures worth of medical bills for all sorts of procedures health insurance wouldn’t pay for and dreamed of all the wonderful things we would do together.

One Mother’s Day years later, I was so sad in church, I went to a beautiful cemetery that had a children’s section with angel statues. I asked if I could set up a small funeral for my children, even though there would be no bodies to bury. I wanted a sense of closure and thought I could bury a box of photos, poems, messages from the family and have a lovely service. The woman I met with thought it was a beautiful idea that she had never heard of before, but she would have to ask the manager how much to charge, etc. The manager decided against it, saying they could only bury bodies. I stared at the sunset, realizing closure isn’t what I needed. I needed to open up more, step back farther and look at a bigger picture. My children aren’t gone if I’m still inspired by them, if I can still learn from them, just like my Grandma is still in my eyes, Mozart is in my music and the setting sun isn’t ever gone at all...we’re the ones who rotate away from it for awhile.

I started creating a CD of songs called “You Are Here,” representing what I would’ve taught my kids about life if they had lived....how to celebrate the awesome gift we all have to live beautiful, grateful lives, perceiving our world as good and inspired with every thought we choose to think.

And just like someone who’s blind becomes better able to hear, I’ve become even more aware of the subtle and sometimes very obvious needs of other people’s children...needs I can meet, dreams I can inspire and souls I can touch with words and music. Me, my mother and father, siblings, friends going through chemo and divorce, my nieces and nephews, godchildren, artists I write for and strangers I’ll meet tomorrow are all someone else’s children in need of more assurance that they’re precious, blessed and cared for, in need of guidance to rethink fear and turn it into smiles.

So to my own reflection, my children’s souls and all children’s hearts, I say:

You are here right now.
You are here, no matter where you’ve been,
This moment must begin right now.

You are here to love.
You are here, no matter what, it’s true,
This moment’s here for you to love.

You are here for good.
You are here, forever, everywhere,
One universe to share for good.

You’ll never lose your way,
The signs will always say: Y o u A r e H e r e.

As we take our next breath, think our next thoughts, live our next dream, may we do so graciously and enthusiastically, trusting we’re never alone, that everyone we’ve ever loved is blessing our journey.

Goodbye, for now, for all’s not lost,
Breathe on inside of me,
In days we’ve shared and days we’ll spend
Inside my memory...

Goodbye, for now, for time will tell,
Our souls are never gone
So much to find, to learn to be,
Forever moving on...

Goodbye, for now, for auld lang syne,
A toast to love so far,
For all that’s good as years go by,
No matter where we are...

Goodbye, for now, for all we know,
We all still dream as one,
We’ve no less days to give our love
As if we’ve just begun...

For all the inspirational lyrics and music of Sunny’s CD, visit http://www.sunnyhilden.com/sunnyresume.htm

Angela

Angela Jia Kim became inspired to create a fresh and organic spa product line when, as a touring concert pianist, she developed a severe allergic reaction to a store-bought lotion right before a performance.

Upon her return home to New York City, she conducted her own research and learned that even her preferred “natural” skincare companies dilute their formulas with synthetic chemicals and preservatives in order to increase shelf life and reduce manufacturing costs.

Passionate about organic living, she attempted to find sophisticated skincare products that were not loaded with preservatives and chemicals. When she realized that no such brand existed, she began to create her own organic formulas for herself and gave them as gifts to her chamber music colleagues.

The creams were an instant hit, and friends began ordering them as gifts for other friends. When Angela realized that people were responding to the gap in the marketplace, she hired a team of cutting-edge holistic formulators, aromatherapists, and skin care experts to help refine the formulas with the commitment to providing luxury skincare products that were not loaded with preservatives and chemicals.

After years of extensive research and with the help of these leading holistic skincare experts, Om Aroma & Co.™ launched its first natural and organic luxury spa collection that was free of parabens, formaldehyde, mineral oil, synthetic dyes, and fragrances. The spa collection can now be found in exclusive five star resorts, upscale spas and specialty boutiques in the United States.

Lilou

We’re checking in with past GRG of the Week Lilou, who co-created the 100 Day Challenge. Her latest focus is attracting new ideas and ways to reach a healthy weight. The 100 Day Challenge is a global online community where anyone can set their intentions to create a better life and share their progress with the world via blogs or posted videos. As part of this community, Lilou has started an online “Feel Good Food Group.” Click here to see it.

Here’s what Lilou says about it:

I am creating this group as a place to share foods and recipes that feel good to our body, to consequently, attract our natural weight. The principle is simple: Eat food that feels good when you eat it but also after eating it. Ask your body if this feels good. Please share your experiments with this group! I believe that it is our mission to take care of our bodies, eat what is right so we can be more intuitive, have more energy, vibrate higher, attract more and love more!

I did a video a while back on YouTube titled "Lose Weight Applying the Law of Attraction" (33,000+ views)! Check it out here.

Clarissa

I have learned the hard way that you have to really stay present to yourself when you are a Mom. Especially a Full-Time Mom! I have found that I need things completely outside of the family to be part of, otherwise I lose my way.

I'm feeling so darn creative these days and like I am going to burst if I don't start doing something about it soon!!! Trouble is, I am apprehensive because I haven't been (very) creative for so long that I am quite emotional about it. It almost feels scary, because I feel like I have not been myself fully for so long. I worry that people will say that it isn't me, that I will seem phony or silly, or that I am copying other people's style (what is my style, for instance???). I grew up being a very creative gal, but have lost that momentum over the past few years. I could literally spend every moment of my waking life creating art and communicating with people (I am an Aquarian, after all), but my life looks nothing like I desire it to look like. I used to do acting, dancing, film making, teaching, arts & crafts, and all sorts.

When I got married I redecorated our entire house in England (to drag it out of the 1970's), made a flower garden where we originally had concrete slabs, taught children's theatre, and even gave scrapbooking classes. When I became a Mother, I gave up my creative time, thinking it was selfish to do anything like that. Like art is just "extra" and has to be put off until later. I think that I felt that way because my father often put his art way ahead of everything else (he does oil painting), and that has hurt a lot of people over the years. So, I didn't see how to be a mother and a creative person, and ended up depressed on and off for about 5 years!!! For me, being CREATIVE is essential. Just is.

I desire to SERVE the world with my talents, and even though it feels really weird to say that, I know that it is the way to live my best life. It feels like a huge step of faith for me to do this, to step out into the unknown, into something exhilarating, a bit like a free-fall.

I AM learning who I am. I have been on this quest for awhile now and lately I've become very inspired by Eckhart Tolle's book "A New Earth." I read "The Power of Now" first and that really opened my eyes to how I saw my life. I had some major "Ah-ha Moments" when I read it. One of those moments was that I am not my past, nor my future. I am the person who is living in the Now. I can only affect the present, and can only know that I am okay right now. I used to get very frustrated about my future, and that I didn't know what I'd do with myself once my son started school. I have desired a career, but the path hasn't been obvious. So I kept feeling that I wouldn't be somebody until I had something to do in the wider world. Once I realized that living in the present moment is what matters I was set free!!! The future is now, my life's work is whatever I am doing in this moment, and feeling at peace with that is life-changing. I am still planning my career path(s), but in a way that is relaxed and full of faith, not frantic. And one added bonus: this has given me the ability to be much more present with my son, rather than wishing he was already in school so I could "get on with my life."

Follow Clarissa’s journey on her 100 Day Challenge page by clicking here.

Kim

Imagine that you are walking on the sidewalk on a Friday night with a couple of friends. You’ve just had a nice dinner and one of the people you are with says, “Come on, let’s skip!” and leaps into the air and goes bounding down the street in front of you.

That’s exactly what happened to me shortly after I moved to San Francisco from Indiana. Without giving it a second thought, there I was bouncing down the street with pure abandon. I couldn’t’ believe how exhilarating it was! I hadn’t skipped since I was a kid! My friends and I were smiling and laughing as we reached our destination and I suddenly couldn’t stop thinking about skipping. When was the last time I had skipped? Why did I stop? Why don’t adults skip? I thought about how new fitness crazes pop up all the time…why not skipping?

Two years later, at the height of the dot com gold rush, I decided to walk my talk/skip my skip and take my skipping public. That’s when www.iskip.com, my website that is dedicated to making the world a happier place one skip at a time, was born. Unlike the majority of sites that were going up at the time, I didn’t even pretend to try to find a revenue model. My only goal was to share positive playful energy with the world and to encourage as many people as possible to rediscover skipping.

I started organizing group skips, mostly with friends in San Francisco, and before long the SF CHRONICLE caught wind of what I was up to and published a fabulous article called “She’d Like to Teach the World to Skip”. That kick started what is nothing short of a national media phenomenon with TIME, NEWSWEEK, CNN, USA TODAY and PEOPLE MAGAZINE all doing stories about the skipping movement. I even skipped my way onto the “Donny & Marie Show” and skipped and held hands with Donny Osmond! Talk about a childhood dream come true.

As it turned out, there were hundreds of people out there who had already been skipping for years…and so I found myself in the unlikely position of providing a portal where all of the skippers of the world could unite. Many called themselves “closet skippers” and thanked me for giving them permission to take their skipping pubic.

I recruited head skippers to organize group skipping events in their hometowns and there were as many as 70-cities…from Lima, Ohio to Manchester, England… where there was a head skipper helping to spread the skipping message.

As for me, I was a woman completely possessed. I even went as far as to quit my corporate job to follow my skipping dream. Unfortunately, that didn’t go nearly as well as I’d hoped at the time, but somehow through it all, I’m still skipping nearly ten years later.

These days, I’m working as a book publicist for New World Library, the publisher of The Power of Now…and am writing my own book about my skipping experience and all that goes with following your heart and living a dream. I also maintain a regular skipping blog through iskip.com.

My own skipping has become more of a personal spiritual practice than the evangelical mission it once was…but through it all, if anything, my resolve about skipping being one of the most powerful and underutilized tools we have at our disposal to make our own lives and the world us happier has gotten stronger as time has gone by.

Of course, skipping is something that is much better experienced than talked about. So I’d like to encourage you to contribute some positive energy to your immediate environment by skipping at least ten steps today! Go ahead. Get your skip on! What have you got to lose?

Visit Kim’s fun web site at www.iskip.com!

Julie

At first it was the tingling finger tips, then numbing toes, calves, sometimes higher up the leg, but mostly my left leg. After awhile it felt like I was walking with a tall boot filled with sand, dragging my leg along. It felt so heavy. My stomach started feeling numb and every time I looked down, I felt like I hit my funny bone; a buzzing feeling running from my shoulders to my fingertips. I went along like this for awhile until one day I was running and my legs gave out. This was the episode that landed me at the emergency room; they thought I had a stroke. MRI revealed a tentative diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis (MS).

The symptoms went away and then returned around six months later. The diagnosis was now confirmed as MS. My doctor instructed me to select one of the three drugs available at the time, all known to slow the progression of the disease. All of them administered by injection only – no oral medications approved yet (still true today). I picked one and walked to my car. After 15 minutes of crying, I drove back to work. It was time to get serious.

I pay more attention now. I have learned to listen to my fingers, toes, legs, stomach. When I landed in a more sedentary job, my legs became more spastic, hands started to tremor. I had still been exercising 3-4 times a week. My symptoms continued. It was time to change jobs.

It has been over six years since my MS diagnosis. I now walk 3-4 miles, 4-5 times a week because my body needs the exercise. It definitely complains when I don’t. If I miss a day, you’ll be sure to see me walking up an extra flight of stairs or taking the long way to the parking lot. I know I’ll feel better if I do.

I have control of how I feel and I now listen to my body. That control gives me hope; the new medications give me hope; the research gives me hope. That hope keeps me positive. The combination of exercise and attitude keeps me going, keeps me moving. There will be a cure one of these days. I plan on being there.

Note: Julie will be walking in the MS Challenge this September 12-14, as will GRG’s Colleen Lindstrom. Show your support by joining or donating to TEAM COLLEEN by clicking here.

Claudia

I grew up believing myself to be “all white” and only learned of my Lakota heritage in sketchy ways as an adult. I have embraced Lakota traditions and spiritual ways along side my Christian tradition.

By the time I entered high school, I was determined to become a Roman Catholic Sister. I entered the novitiate of Dubuque Franciscans right out of high school. It was in the convent that I became an RN. While completing my BA, the Episcopal Church had begun conversation about ordaining women deacons. I began to attend an Episcopal Church and in 1976, left the convent. I began seminary in the fall of 1978 and was ordained an Episcopal deacon in 1982 and six months later a priest (just celebrated my Silver anniversary as a priest).

As an RN in critical care areas, I had much experience working with families and patients in grief surrounding death. I never entertained the thought of caring for the body as a funeral director until 2002 when I did begin mortuary science education at the U of MN.
I had begun a project which offered no cost transportation of remains of Native Americans from the place of death to the place of burial. Although there is a long standing service in Minneapolis which provides these services, there were mileage limitations and we were willing to transcend those to provide additional services to Native families.

Opening Oyate Tawicohan Funeral Services was the fulfillment of everything people in funeral home marketing and management told me could not be done. On one hand, they were correct in that I am in deep financial craziness. On the other hand, it is something that must be continued in order to fully serve those with limited income facing the outrageous price of funeral service today.

My outreach to those struggling financially is grounded in the work and ministry of St. Francis of Assisi (and his and mine in the Christ). I am a member of an ecumenical Franciscan community (the Order of Servant Franciscans) as well as an Episcopal Priest. I have met the Christ in each person who has come through the doors of the funeral home and said, “I need help.”

For more information or to support Oyate Tawicohan Funeral Services, click here.

Stephanie & Wendy

Stephanie writes:
I have been passionate about the mind-body connection every since I can remember. In fact over 25 years ago, I wrote my college entrance essay on how positive thinking and visualization can impact ones health. Personal experience had been my teacher. At 16, I had been critically ill. Post-surgery doctors had warned my parents I would be hospitalized for weeks, attached to an IV, which I hated. I started to imagine not having the IV, thinking I am getting better fast. Three days after leaving the ICU, the IV was removed, two days later I went home well ahead of schedule.

Throughout my life I have seen example after example of how positive thinking, visualization and believing in our own potential and ability can significantly impact outcomes. As a holistic wellness coach, medical intuitive, artist healer and friend, I have also seen all too often how easy it is to give up, let negative thoughts and attitudes take over.

empoword (we don’t capitalize the “e”, don’t ask why) was born from my belief that giving up – on the new exercise program, the new health regime, even yourself sometimes – is easy and happens more often than we would like. I wanted to create something that would make sticking to it and staying upbeat even easier. And what is easier, and more powerful, than a single, simple well-chosen word.

For millennia a single word or phrase has been used in meditative practice. Herbert Benson’s, groundbreaking The Relaxation Response (1975) showed that using a mantra or focus word could actually impact health and well-being, and result in measurable physical benefits. Newer research, from scientists like Candace Pert (Molecules of Emotion) and others studying psychoneuroimmunology (PNI), which explores the relationship between mind processes and health, gives scientific proof to the importance of words and our thoughts.

Take gratitude. Your day starts off with a bad hair day, the kids are fighting, you’re out of milk, you have more to do than minutes to do it in and there is no time to stop and reflect. Think gratitude. That one word means so much: think at least I have hair, my kids are healthy, I can afford to buy milk, life is full of wonderful people and things that need my attention. But how do you stop the bad day cycle and flip to gratitude?

We need quick, easy reminders. Enter empoword. empoword products – everyday items – put words in your path throughout the day. And to make sure they get noticed we paired the words with a graphic and made them colorful.

I have a brave static sticker cling on my bathroom mirror. Every morning and every night I see brave and I think brave. Brave reminds me to be fearless and bold, to take risks and be comfortable in my own skin. It motivates me to stay what sometimes feels like an unconventional course and encourages me to be real.

Wendy writes:
When Stephanie said to me, I have this great idea, but I know I need a business partner to make it happen, I said, “I can do that!” We have been close friends for over 13 years, had worked on many volunteer projects together and had been looking for something meaningful to do together. empoword was it!

Words matter. One word can change your whole attitude and outlook. Gratitude. Strength. Balance. Breathe. Focus. I had been using words as motivation and affirmation my whole life without even realizing their power. I used words as mantra as a competitive athlete in high school and college. I use words with my son as we both struggle, and mostly succeed, with his Asperger’s. When my father was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer, we talked about the power of positive thinking and how words can play a key part in overcoming tremendous odds, which he did, and today is cancer free.

But there are so many words. How do you choose? My background is in marketing. I have run my own consulting firm in qualitative research for the past 11 years. This led us to conduct empoword’s own research and ask “What do you want to be, do or have?” We sent over 120 women a list of more than 100 words and asked them to rank their top ten favorites. The response was amazing! Women from all over emailed us and called us: “What was this for? It was so fun to think about all these words!” and “These words really made me reflect on my life.” “This exercise took me a long time, because it was so thought provoking.” We had started a conversation without even knowing it. These women had a lot to say about the power of words.

The 12 words we used to launch the product line last November are based on the research we conducted. People wanted balance, love and strength. All words we used on our products. People also wanted authenticity, energy and courage. So we developed products with the words real, awake and brave. A single word can say so much, it can mean so much, so many different things to different people. But all words can be used to empower us, to help us visualize what we want, to get us to think about it and then be, do and have it.

empoword products empower people. You decide what you need, choose a word and take a positive, important, and active role in making it happen. The words inspire and motivate. Strength is my favorite word. I use it as a mom. I use it as an entrepreneur launching a new venture. I use it as an athlete and sports enthusiast. I wear my strength tee whenever it is clean and carry my strength water bottle all the time. The word is about having and garnering mental, physical and emotional strength. I just feel stronger.

To learn more about our words and products, and to become empoword, please visit us at www.thinkempoword.com. And here’s a special offer for Get Real Girls listeners! No matter the size of your order, if you type in the promo code REAL, we’ll send you a free “word cling.”

Shellie

I’m going to be a published children’s book author! For years people have been telling me to write down the stories I tell children, and so I have started doing just that. I've written a few stories but really haven't been sure how to go about getting them to a potential publisher. It hasn't really held me back; I've just been working on my writing and taking small steps to learn about the process. I figured that the only way I could really fail is if I quit trying.

I love kids. I have a Masters degree in education, have worked as a child/adolescent counselor and currently work as a nanny for a family -- with four children and the family dog under my care! Given that, and my background in theater, I suppose it's no surprise that I love the art of storytelling as a way to communicate with children.

Last year, I heard about a children's book contest that Cheerios launched to encourage and support new, unpublished authors, and I thought it would be fun to enter. I was washing the family dog, Fluffy, with the family's 3-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, and I thought that would make a fun story. I spent two hours writing a story that I called The Great Dog Wash. I entered it on the last day of the contest and I won the contest!! In addition to getting a cash prize, I also had the opportunity to have my book reviewed by Simon & Schuster Children's Publishing.

My passion got a big boost because Simon & Schuster decided to publish the book, and The Great Dog Wash is going to be featured inside Cheerios boxes in the spring of 2009, and then released by Simon & Schuster in the summer of 2009!

I've just finished the final editing to my story. It's been a truly wonderful experience to work with an editor. It adds a wonderful new dimension to have another set of eyes look at my work. Right now an amazing illustrator is developing sketches to illustrate the story. Wow! I'm going to be a published children's book author! It's really a dream come true!

Ideas for stories are all around. And the great thing is there are groups like the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators (I'm a member!) and local writing classes that provide guidance and support. Schools and libraries love to have storytellers come in and share their work. So there are lots of ways to get started. I was just lucky to get a boost by winning this Cheerios Spoonfuls of Stories Children's Book Contest. I'm so very excited and honored that Cheerios and Simon & Schuster are giving me the opportunity! I can't wait to see my story come to life in print!

Get more info on Shellie’s big win and “The Great Dog Wash” here. www.spoonfulsofstories.com

Kailen

Matchmaking truly became a passion for me when, to be honest, after connecting 'many many' soul mates in marriage over the past 15 years, I as a matchmaker finally grew up in my 'own' marriage, and realized the tremendous impact that marriage (the union of healthy communication, love, respect) has on our society, our children, and the future of our world. I know that might sound a bit heavy, however, when you look at the divorce rate today, the percentage of kids without a mother and father in the same home, teenage pregnancy, even taking it to obesity and depression, it is clear that there has been a break down somewhere, and I found that it began not only with the way we were loved, but the way we learned to love.

As I began to pay closer and closer attention during literally thousands of interviews over the years, from singles who had yet to meet their soul mates to the married couples who came to me for “re-kindling” to those who come to me who have lost their identity in an unhealthy or loveless marriage/relationship, it all went back, no matter how large or how small, to what they experienced with their mother and or father in love. It affected their self esteem, their ability to attract the “right” partner, their ability to love, and their ability to receive love. Heavy, huh?! So, as a matchmaker who works with a lot of people, some pretty influential in this world, who hold a lot of power in many ways, I realized that I had a much bigger responsibility than I had any clue. I realized that a tremendous gift had been given to me, allowing me the gift and ability not only to intuitively connect souls, but more importantly to teach and influence people in their lives, in the way that they experience love; first with themselves, then with each other! This is an amazing honor that I hold very dear to my heart and of utmost importance in my life!

My goal through my work over the next who knows how many years (but I hope many) is to show as many people as I can that love is truly amazing, that it can last, that marriage can be incredible, close, and – yes – even sexy. Goal: To know that people are experiencing love in a way unlike ever before, that it makes them want to share it with each other. That they feel safe to love, to believe, to receive; that if children are involved, that they can teach and give them the gift of healthy love and communication to share with society and one day with their partner. I believe that if we learn to love in a genuine way, without fear and without judgment, our world will be impacted even just a bit, and that bit might be just enough to get a new generation of healthy love going.

The fundraiser that I'm holding this next week is a small peek at what I am working on. It’s about teaching people to 'bring love full circle', through giving back what has been given, and then around and around it goes. It’s about teaching people what getting “real” really means, helping people do that for themselves, and then ultimately with each other, because that's when the amazing things in life truly begin to happen!

Click here to visit Kailen’s web site and check “The Latest” on the Get Real Girls’ page for details on the American Soulmate event.

Kirsten

The inspiration for my home and subsequent design aesthetic comes from my love of all things Belgian. I discovered this style while living in Switzerland. There were many shops in Zurich that featured this style of Décor. There were also several vendors at the flea markets selling Belgian goods. I read and researched all that I could find about this beautiful style of design and was inspired to start Boho Belgian.

What is Boho Belgian? I think it is best described as style that celebrates simple luxury. Simple luxury may sound like a contradiction but that is also very Belgian. Boho Belgian style is all about the mix: combining modern with vintage, splurges with thrift, re-claimed with new.

The palette of the Boho Belgian interior is similarly complex featuring grays, browns, muted greens — moody earthy tones — rarely whites. Boho Belgian Furniture features waxed, bleached, limed or raw woods; surfaces of stone and zinc are also common but are always honed or matte. Boho Belgian style fabrics are textural; think hemp, burlap, velvet and of course the inimitable Belgian linens.

In addition, the Boho Belgian style embraces the contemporary classics of modern design. There is usually an iconic modern piece of furniture or lighting in any Boho Belgian interior.

Intrigued? Kirsten made the front cover of “O” Magazine last year for her great sense of style. Check out her web site here! www.bohobelgian.com

Lisa

I am the creator of the Meditation Challenge. After many previous, unsuccessful attempts to incorporate meditation into my daily life, I knew there had to be a better way. Here’s the problem: nearly EVERYONE is aware of the benefits of meditation. (In fact, the beneficial effects of meditation are so well known that I don't feel a need to even list them here...)

Yet despite the fact that EVERYONE is aware of the benefits of meditation, VERY FEW people actually have a regular meditation practice!

The Meditation Challenge is committed to changing that by helping 100,000 people develop the habit of meditation from the comfort of their own home with little or no extra time commitment on their part! And by the word "habit" I mean that meditation isn't about just sitting in a room with your eyes, closed for a specific amount of time but that your life becomes a living meditation!

The Meditation Challenge is about showing the world that meditation is FUN and EASY. The truth is that most of us make it so much harder than it is!

Check out Lisa’s Meditation Challenge here. www.meditationchallenge.com

Marilyn

I am a Feng Shui practitioner and Intention is Most Important is one of the four basic principles of Feng Shui, so I was already living my life with intention when I was introduced to life coach Michelle Stimpson. My husband and I love to travel and when Michelle told me about How to Have a Great Vacation I knew it was something we had to try. We invited Michelle and her husband Bill for dinner and they taught us the process. Since then we have used it on every trip we have taken, with fantastic results.

We have also had Bill and Michelle facilitate the How to Have a Great Vacation process for two rather challenging trips. The first was a group of five adults traveling to England to visit friends who lived there. We were spending a lot of money for this trip and I thought that the potential for disappointment and disaster was huge, so I insisted that the Minnesota contingent have dinner at our house and go through the process with the Stimpsons. We learned some very important things about each other and the trip was wonderful. Almost three years later we are still amazed at how much fun we had in England and still use some of our knowledge from that trip to strengthen friendships.

Last year my husband and I took three granddaughters and a niece, ages 5, 5, 8 and 10, to Disneyland. Once again, I saw great potential for disappointment and even tears, so we had Bill and Michelle work with us, the kids, and their parents, who were not going on the trip. Being clear on our expectations made it a fantastic trip and we are already planning the next one! In both of these cases, the money spent on How to Have a Great Vacation was nothing compared to what we spent for the trip and would have been worth it at twice the price. Intentional travel has become the norm at our house and I can’t imagine planning a trip without using the tools we learned from Michelle and Bill.

For more information on the process, click here.

For more information on Marilyn, visit her web site.

Deb

I guess you could say I stick with things that I feel committed to. Being raised by parents who were committed to act personally in the civil rights movement and the movement for the rights and dignity of handicapped people, I absorbed the ethos that one has a responsibility to do what one can to make the world a better place.

Way back in 1973, when the Vietnam War was still being fought and thousands were in the streets protesting, the peace symbol was everywhere. I was a college student, sitting in my dorm room thinking about it all, when the idea for the empathy symbol just popped into my head. I realized that the first step to true peace is empathy, because it’s a lot harder to hate and to want to hurt people that you truly understand as fellow human beings.

The empathy symbol is a circle divided in half, with a line reaching from each half into the other, ending in a “Y”, like arms opening up to the “other” and feeling what it is like to be the other. It stands for two groups—blacks and whites, men and women, Muslims and Jews, gays and heterosexuals…you fill in the blanks…reaching out to each other and opening up to truly empathize with each other.

After I thought of the empathy symbol, I had a jewelry student friend make me a necklace. I wore it for the next thirty-some years, feeling that I was somehow spiritually charged with bringing it to the rest of the world. I just didn’t know how. Now, with the Internet, the way has opened up. My husband helped me develop the web site, www.empathysymbol.com. My dream is that I will be walking down the street in a far- away city one day and will see a stranger wearing the empathy symbol, or I’ll see a car drive by displaying it on a bumper sticker.

In the years between conceiving the empathy symbol and bringing it to fruition, I raised a family and became a preschool teacher. It’s funny how aspects of your life come together in a synergistic way when you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing. Two years ago, another teacher and I started writing a book for parents called Think Like a Preschool Teacher: How to Have the Same Capable, Confident and Cooperative Child at Home That We Have at School. In this book, we share tips and techniques that work for us—and a lot of what makes preschool teachers successful is their empathy for young children. As we say in the book, “To think like a preschool teacher, you have to be able to think like a preschool child.” It does seem that the greatest teachers and the best parents are able to understand what it feels like to be a child, and are able to see the world through their eyes, whether they’re four-year-old eyes or sixteen-year-old eyes. The book proposal is now in the hands of a New York literary agent, and we hope to have it published and on the book shelves within a couple years. In the meantime, we’re working on developing a web site, and maybe even workshops for parents.

I am a woman in my fifties, and I am living my life with passion and a sense of purpose that is energizing and exciting. And on top of all that, every day I get to experience the wonder and joy of a small child seeing a butterfly emerge from a chrysalis, or painting a masterpiece at the art easel, or figuring out how to stack thirty different blocks into an amazing tower. What could be better?

December 15th, 2007

During my 69 years, I’ve had many careers, beginning with babysitting at age 9. As an adult, most of my careers have involved writing and working with people. Since I love writing and also love people, it’s a perfect match!

Although I began by writing poems, after publishing two poetry books, I wrote a memoir called, “Miss Priss and the Con Man,” that my agent is now marketing. I’m still writing, but now I’m coaching other writers too, working with people on their poetry, memoirs, or non-fiction books. Sometimes I help them get started; sometimes we work on their writing together; sometimes I edit what they’ve already written.

When I was in my late fifties, my train, chugging merrily along, was derailed by seven challenging years that included three surgeries, one of them for breast cancer. During those dark years, survival was a full-time job. My faith and my family and friends were crucial in helping me heal, as was Curves. Exercise not only helped my body, but it also helped my mind. My rewards were a much-improved weak back, and the complete disappearance of lymphodema in my left arm.

Six years after my illness, I’m still passionately writing and cancer-free. I plan to work into my eighties. Maybe even longer! I’m most alive when I’m being creative and helping others be creative too. My daily mantra is, “Thank-you, thank-you!”

Jill’s website is: www.jillbreckenridge.com

December 8th, 2007

I’ve struggled with my weight for over twenty years. I’ve been A LOT of different sizes ranging from size 7 to 18. But even when I was a size seven, it was difficult for me to see the change looking in the mirror. And rather than celebrate my achievement, I would focus on new areas of concern: flabby mid section, underarm jiggle, how to get my straight hair curly…There was always some new thing I needed to do to improve my physical appearance…

Several months ago, I read an article about “Fat Talk” Fat talk is what women do when they get together in group, they talk about dissatisfaction with their body. Researcher’s at the University of Arizona described a situation where four women were chatting. Three of the women were engaging in “fat talk.” Researcher’s then asked men and women if they thought the fourth woman would join in, 51% of the women in the study thought she would. And maybe more disturbing? They thought they would like this woman MORE if she spoke negatively of herself-versus not engaging in the conversation .

So I started thinking about why we do this…I was certainly more comfortable discussing negative traits with friends than positive ones. Part of it is the supportive factor-if you both express negative characteristic’s about yourself, then you can reassure each other that you look fine. Part of it is the unrealistic retouched photo images we seen in magazines. I spent a whole summer trying to recreate Vanessa Marcil’s beautiful hair (then on General Hospital) only to learn later that she’d cut her hair-and the producer’s had made her wear a wig. It’s hard to compete with a wig…

I work as a manager and a speech therapist with children with special needs. 3:1 is the rule I use with both of them. I always start with three positive comments before a suggestion for improvement. This allows for people to feel appreciated, and successful-which in turn, seems to motivate them to work on their new goals. So why not apply the same strategy for my life. Focus mostly on the positives but add a few goals in as needed.

So I’ve decided to change, I’ve decided to focus on my positive traits-the things that I am proud of, or things that I’ve worked to achieve-like I am stronger now that I lift weights. It’s not always easy, I still find myself wanting to start with the negatives. But it’s starting to work. I feel like I have more confidence, that I am standing up a bit taller, that I am feeling more comfortable with who I am right now. And now I am starting to see it in the mirror too. The other day at the gym, I was looking in the mirror at these beautiful long legs, and realized that they were mine. So now my bonding statement with other women isn’t going to be: “I shouldn’t have eaten that cheesecake…look at my butt.” It’s going to be, “what do you like about yourself.” Because if we can use fat talk to bond, then maybe we can use positive talk to bond as well.

December 1st, 2007

After spending seven years as an officer in the U.S. Air Force, I decided to become a professional organizer because I wanted to do something new and different, something that helped people, and something that made me enjoy going to work. The end of each organizing project is so fantastic, especially knowing that I played a part in helping someone change so drastically – from feeling stressed out and weighed down by clutter (whether it’s physical, emotional, or mental clutter) to feeling free from it all and taking charge of their home, their schedule, their work, and their life. Finally, they rule their stuff and their stuff doesn’t rule them. To see that transformation…it’s all the thanks I need!

Organization has many positive side effects: it increases free time, saves money, and decreases stress - just to name a few! I truly believe most people want to experience these results in their individual lives but often are discouraged by how overwhelming the process of getting organized can seem.

Each person has achieved their own personal level of clutter; some are just a little cluttery, some are a lot cluttery, and some are at a stage in between a little and a lot. Either way, if one is willing to apply a certain amount of time, energy, and dedication, it is possible to reach any organizing goal.

I really feel the benefits of living an organized life are worth all the effort! Being organized equals getting tasks done more efficiently and having proper storage systems in place. This, in turn, provides an individual with more free time for relaxing, for hobbies, for family, or for fun; saves money because there is no need to constantly replace lost items or items damaged by improper storage; and decreases stress levels because the individual takes back control over their life.

For skeptics, I like to highlight this example…

Think about your biggest organizing problem. Let’s just say, for example, that it’s your home office.

Is it safe to assume that you are losing $20 a week (approx. $3/ day) in lost time and productivity because you don’t have an effective organizing system in place?

Let’s imagine you decide against de-cluttering your home office and continue down the same disorganized path for the next 5 years. You will lose over $5000 in resources! Although that $5000 is just a hypothetical figure, I feel it puts disorganization in a whole new light.

Check out Carmen’s great articles on Christmas clutter here. http://www.squidoo.com/christmas-organized

November 17th, 2007

I am a native Minnesotan who found her way back to the Twin Cities in April of this year after living in Southern California for the past twenty two years. I decided to make the move back for the support and strength of my family and friends following the deaths of my mother and husband. It was unexpected when my mom passed in 2005. She had been ill, but I didn’t think about her dying – not yet. Less than one month later, my husband fell from a ladder, sustained a head trauma, and died. Not long after that, my sister-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer and one of my oldest friends from junior high school had a heart attack. Later that year, I found out my father had prostate cancer. It was a year of disbelief. Life had really thrown me a curve ball.

I have found ways to heal and to move forward with my life and being back in the Twin Cities is an exciting and hopeful new chapter. November is the month where we reflect on all that we are grateful for. I know we are all juggling life especially during the holidays but I think we need to take more deep breaths and slow down to remember what's really important and count our blessings. I am grateful for little things that I remind myself of every single day such as my good health, my bounty of good friends, my lovely new home, the freedom to do the work I love and my cat who brings me joy and comfort.

I am also grateful for moments in life such as having dinner with my Dad, sitting on my patio with a cup of coffee and listening to the birds, stopping to have a conversation with my new neighbors and driving in my car with the windows down just to feel and hear what’s going on around me. I have been particularly blessed this month with a feature article in the November Issue of Hallmark Magazine. The article is my personal story of "Surviving Loss." The story allows me to share a few things I've learned through my journey of loss and grief. I pray that I will be able to provide solace and hope to others on their journey through a life transition such as mine.

Today, I am working to build a business I had started part-time in 2003 called Circle of Strength. I sell inspirational gift products for women and produce fun events where women can make connections and share knowledge with like-minded women. Circle of Strength has taken on a whole new meaning for me now and I share my story of surviving loss and the lessons I have learned along the way. I continue to be a staunch advocate for women and charities that benefit women such as Minneapolis-based Ready for Success where I volunteer my time and resources.

So as I join my family this year for the traditional Thanksgiving get together I will revel in the joy of being together, sharing love, laughter, a football game and of course the turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie!

Find our more about JoAnne Funch and Circle of Strength at http://www.circleofstrength.com

November 10th, 2007

Coaching has been a major factor in my life's evolution toward living the life I have always dreamed of. My initial goal for coaching was to achieve more balance in my life. At the time, that meant finding time for anything other than work, as I had gotten very caught up in working more and more. I knew it was only a matter of time before I hit the wall.

After helping me determine my life priorities, my coach, Michelle Stimpson (www.lifeshinecoaching.com), then helped me reorganize my time so that there was some extra time left for me. From there, I was able to further determine the aspects of my life that were truly important versus those that were simply taking my time and energy. I recall Michelle asking me what I could say "no" to. A simple question, but one that literally changed my life.

I realized that there were a lot of things in my life that weren't serving me. And by eliminating those things, I was able to carve out the time and energy for the things that really matter: My daughter, spirituality, friends and family, and taking care of myself physically and emotionally.

In addition to helping me achieve balance in my personal life, Michelle urged me to think about what I want to achieve through my career and then map out a plan to make it happen. As a result, I have made significant changes including changing brokers, reducing employees, and identifying my ideal clients and determining ways to target them. I had really gotten trapped in the cycle of "accumulating" clients—a habit that did not allow me time for all that is important to me as well as the time for providing my clients with the level of service I strived for. Focusing on my ideal clients has allowed me to work fewer hours and provide better service without sacrificing income.

Without Michelle's guidance, I am quite sure that the progress and success I have experienced would have either taken much longer or not happened at all.

Find out more about Faith at her web site. (www.faithmcgown.com)

November 3rd, 2007

My son has a great skill. Whenever he gets hurt, he starts crying, and brings the hurt to mummy or daddy to get it checked out. Usually a quick kiss will take care of it, and then he happily goes right back to whatever he was doing.

Crying is our first language. As babies, we cried to let our parents know when we were scared, or hungry, or tired. It was our way of saying, “I need help right now!”

Crying has two purposes: 1) to announce that something hurts, and 2) to release the pain of whatever hurts. I don’t know the psychology behind it, but I do know that after he cries, my son is always in a great mood. Crying is a natural release for him.

Somehow, as we grew into adults, we forgot the secret of crying. We were taught that “crying is for babies” and that it is important to keep our emotions inside. So, instead of learning to release our pain through crying, we are taught to numb it through drugs, self-torture, and silent suffering.

This is what we have lost as adults. We are afraid to cry, and even when we do break down and actually shed some tears, we are overcome with anxiety because we “showed weakness.”

That’s a complete lie. Crying is not a sign of weakness. I don’t look down on my son because he cries when he is hurt. When he cries, it serves as a signal between us that he is hurting, and that’s all. He isn’t weak for asking me for help or comfort.

I can figure out where this went wrong. Adults, particularly men, can’t seem to cry. This is a terrible tragedy. Somehow one of our most valuable and powerful coping skills has been stolen from us.

To read the rest of Scott’s article, visit his Finding Your Marbles web site here.

October 27th, 2007

If you asked me a few years ago whether I would end up sharing to the world how much money we make and how we spend it, I would have looked at you like you were crazy. Me…talk about such a taboo subject? Never!

But somehow, here I am. I've been blogging about the intimacies of my family's finances for over a year and keeping track of our progress to pay off over $37,000 in credit card debt. I was first on Get Real Girls last spring; today, I’ve paid off almost $18,000 of that debt.

When I first started blogging, I thought I would share with others tidbits that I learned as we were working to pay off our debt. Slowly, the blog became more personal. I started writing more stories that shared experiences that we have had. Then I decided to share our monthly expenses. Shortly after that I decided to share our income. Our finances are now basically an open book with a new page being written daily.

It's been difficult at times having everything out there. Since I promised myself I would write about the good and bad, I always think about my spending now. Can I justify a purchase as something we needed? Or, if it is a want, can I live with having to "confess" on my blog? Needless to say, even when I do slip and have a moment of emotional shopping, the damage hasn't been as bad as it has in the past. Plus, I don't bring out the credit cards!

That point brings me to the biggest benefit of blogging about our debt. With being disciplined with writing about our finances and constantly learning new things, I am learning about the habits and attitudes that we need to finally get our financial house in order. Our financial past may have been rocky, but I see the road smoothing out ahead :)

Check out Tricia's blog at www.bloggingawaydebt.com

October 20th, 2007

I co-founded Well Within in July, 2004 with Pat Walsh, an artist who had been director of another holistic wellness center, which unfortunately lost its funding.  Both of us learned the value of holistic healing practices through our personal experiences, Pat with Lupus and other illnesses, and me, after surviving Breast Cancer in Nov. 1999.

My own recovery from Breast Cancer was aided by a single treatment of healing touch. While still in the hospital after a mastectomy and reconstruction, I contracted pulmonary edema and pneumonia. After hearing a very concerned physician warn that I could be in the hospital for another two weeks with this potentially life-threatening complication, my already stressed-out self was extremely anxious. Just a half hour later, a friend 'just happened to come by' with her promised 'gift' of a healing touch treatment. Immediately afterward, I felt very peaceful, confident that I would be fine--whether I lived or died. By the next day, my lungs were almost clear. The following day, I went home-- a day earlier than I was scheduled, without the complications. Just a coincidence??

Not according to my doctor!  After reminding me of my excellent medical care (I agreed!), he said he had heard "too many stories about these types of healings" to doubt them!  So, when a postcard concerning healing touch training arrived at my home a month later, it seemed as if I was meant to become trained in that modality. Because I believe 'there's no such thing as coincidences,' I became trained in healing touch and several other complementary therapies, along with getting a Master's in Theology and certified as a Spiritual Director and trained as a hospice volunteer.  I also have authored a book, Thin Places: Where Faith is Affirmed and Hope Dwells which includes information about using complementary therapies during the dying process, as our family did when our parents died in early 2002 (for more information on the book, please see www.marytreacyokeefe.com).

I co-founded Well Within in July, 2004 with Pat Walsh, an artist who had been director of another holistic wellness center, which unfortunately lost its funding.  Both of us learned the value of holistic healing practices through our personal experiences, Pat with Lupus and other illnesses, and me, after surviving Breast Cancer in Nov. 1999.

The interest in holistic health is increasing tremendously.  The U of M's Center for Spirituality and Healing is teaching medical professionals and the public about the efficacy of these healing modalities. Pathways in Minneapolis and Well Within both offer low cost/free classes and onsite and offsite services to thousands of people annually. One of Minnesota's largest oncology clinics recently conducted a patient survey that demonstrated that 94% of their patients were 'somewhat or highly interested' in learning more about integrative healing.   When used with traditional medical treatment, these complementary therapies help reduce stress, anxiety, and pain and can alleviate some of the unpleasant side effects of treatments like chemotherapy.

We invite everyone to learn more about various other MN integrative healing modalities on our other website: Becoming Well Within Minnesota at www.becomingwell.org.  And please call us at 651-451-3113 or come visit us at Well Within in West St. Paul or at www.wellwithin.org. I also love to give presentations related to integrative healing and spirituality, so welcome opportunities to speak to groups and organizations about those topics, in addition to speaking about my book.

October 6th, 2007

I’m a firm believer that we all need catalysts in our lives. Whether it’s a friend that nudges us forward, a new idea that inspires us to take action or change that’s thrust upon us. Catalysts accelerate change. And change is good.

What I appreciate most about life’s catalysts is that they always seem to lead to new experiences. And new experiences are what keep us fully engaged in life. They get us to shut off our autopilot mode and really be present. They naturally energize and motivate us. We feel alive. And that’s when the momentum really starts to build.

Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it? That’s what my personal catalyst (and now business partner) Cathy Paper and I thought as we founded Live Dynamite this year. We wanted to create a simple structure that made it easier and fun to keep expanding and creating your life.

We wanted people to experience the power that comes from living with intention and expanding their consciousness. Live Dynamite helps people intentionally create a positive attitude, set goals and take action–consistently. This takes practice. Considering 80% of our actions are automatic responses, it’s no wonder it takes practice. We are creatures of habit. The good news is we can create new, productive habits. Again, it just takes practice.

To make things easier we created a kit called The Upside™, filled with time-tested ideas, tools and actions that get people back on track. It’s the bridge between knowing and doing.

We’ve also created some experiential sessions for added support. There are Live Dynamite Circles where we learn by doing and create a foundation around the ideas. And there are Live Dynamite Playbook Clubs (think: mastermind group meets book club) to make it easier to sustain the momentum. It’s energizing to be surrounded by people creating their lives intentionally and making the commitment to stay positive.

Seeing people succeed with Live Dynamite has been rewarding beyond words. Check out the Boost page at www.livedynamite.com for our real life success stories that keep us inspired. Hear how living with intention has helped others to gain focus and confidence. So much energy and joy comes from creating the life we all deserve. The power and light is within us–it’s just waiting to be ignited!

“Our intention creates our reality.” –Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

September 29th, 2007

I was on the phone with my best friend a few months ago when she said something that really hit me: "I shouldn’t feel guilty for the things I can’t control, only the things I can." It sounded so simple, so logical. And of course it was much easier said than done.

As someone with multiple chronic conditions, the list of things that are often beyond my control is lengthy: whether or not I will wake up and have a "good" breathing day, if that sore throat I had yesterday will turn into a full-blown viral infection, if the tenderness and fatigue I feel in my legs in the morning will mean I can barely walk by dinnertime. These medical variables have a tangible effect on my relationships. It is when I have to cancel plans, rearrange commitments, or can’t follow through on something I said I’d do that I am consumed with guilt.

The list of plans I've cancelled - or plans I've "ruined," as I say when I am particularly harsh or self-pitying - is, naturally, as long as the list of medical problems that forced me to rearrange them in the first place. My solution? I stopped making plans altogether. It was worse, I reasoned, to constantly have to call my friends and bail on our plans than it was to never have any plans.

It was my then-fiancé, John, who helped me see that there were better ways to deal with my inappropriate guilt than simply never seeing my friends. They had always been first-rate caregivers, they had always been flexible when it came to changing our plans, and they always offered their help. So why was I letting my own guilt override all the ways in which they'd already shown me they understood my situation?

How did I finally get over this year-long guilt trip? I stopped setting myself up to fail. If I made plans with friends for a Saturday night, I made sure I didn’t have anything I needed to do Friday night or Saturday afternoon so I knew I'd have energy. I started being more realistic about how many work commitments I could take on each week and how those activities would impact my life outside of work.

Since I knew I was still going to have "bad" days no matter how much planning I did, I started inviting my friends to my house more often. I knew that no matter how tired I was, I'd be able to attend. I still fight that initial impulse to feel guilty when things come up, but I am getting better. The unpredictability of chronic illness isn't ever going away, and I'm not going to spend the rest of life apologizing for it.

Visit Laurie’s blog about living life to the fullest despite her chronic illnesses. Click here.

September 22nd, 2007

I started Smile Network International because I believe we all have something to give, and there’s so much in the world to be done. There are so many people who pass through life without a helping hand and never have the opportunity to fulfill their dreams.

Throughout the developing world, including even here in the United States in our own neighborhoods, there exists staggering poverty, social problems and injustices. We all know someone who has less than we do.

I have been very blessed in my life and have known many people throughout my 48 years who have extended me a lending hand or advised me when I needed assistance. I wanted to be able to use my time, experience and contacts to make a difference and empower others. I once heard Oprah say that she “wanted to give back what she had been given -- a sense of worth.” That resonated with me and inspired me.

I have always loved to travel to exotic, off-the-beaten-path destinations. In those travels, I became aware of how little so many people in the world have, and I was deeply moved by the suffering that children endure as a result of poverty. It was in those travels that I learned of the prevalence of children born with the birth defects of cleft lips and palates. As a mother of two young children, it broke my heart to learn that children born with clefts were often hidden away to live a life of isolation. The truth of the matter is that the greatest tragedy for these children was not that they were born with a cleft, but that they were born poor.

Meeting these children had a profound effect on me, and I realized that so much could be done for so little - and in the process, a life could be forever changed. I also knew that my skill set from the corporate world could transfer to this kind of work, and believed that I had the ability to put together an organization that could serve these children.

Smile Network International was founded on a wing and a prayer. We had no money, no volunteers, no medical equipment or supplies - no nothing! Three and one half years later, we have provided more than 2,000 free reconstructive surgeries.

My mantra comes from the words of Gandhi - “Be the change you want to see in the world.” In the final analysis, the giver becomes the receiver, and I have been blessed with this work. I truly believe that we each have the ability to change the world and make it a better place for at least one person.

We all know someone who has less, Martin Luther King said, “everyone can be great because everyone can serve.”

Click here to learn more about Kim’s organization, Smile Network International.

September 15th, 2007

I am 57 years old and have known the despair of addiction to cigarettes.

I started at 17 and continued for 12 years, a literal slave to nicotine. Then I discovered a lump in my breast and vowed I would never smoke again. The lump was harmless, and I didn't smoke again -- until 15 years later! I decided to have just one cigarette "to help get me through" a funeral. It was as if I had never stopped. Now I had a family. I hid my smoking from my husband and children, although they soon recognized the awful lingering smell when I came inside. I kept promising to quit, but now felt like a failure and couldn't visualize myself as a non-smoker. In the meantime, my dearest friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. I told her I wished I could do something. She said I could quit smoking.

A book, "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking," by Allen Carr had been sitting on my book shelf for months. I started to read it and it was like nothing I had read before. No health scare tactics -- we all know nicotine kills. I came to truly believe that I was not giving up anything good, that the reasons I thought I smoked were actually illusions. He talked about the real reasons why people smoke. I decided that I would no longer pay a corporation to poison myself. I would stop feeding the never-satisfied, continually-hungry nicotine monster in my stomach. I smoked my last cigarette on February 10th, 2005, on my dearest friend's birthday.

September 8th, 2007

GRG of the Week: Patience
I'm the wife of a Vietnam vet, Robert Mason, who wrote the book, Chickenhawk, a memoir of his tour as a helicopter pilot. When Bob came back from his tour in Vietnam (1st Cav, ‘65-’66), problems developed. We lived with PTSD for 14 years during which I felt there was something wrong with me because I couldn't make him happy. He thought he was crazy. We did not associate any of it with Vietnam.

In 1986, I began writing the book I wish had been available to me when my husband came back from Vietnam with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. As I researched Recovering From The War, I interviewed survivors of all types of trauma, developed a healing perspective on PTSD (all its symptoms are survival skills), read scientific papers and books on all types of trauma, and found help in 12 Step groups. Today my life contains a lot of serenity and peace.

I think that not being a mental health professional gives me a great advantage. I take psychiatry with a grain of salt, because I lived through the period when PTSD officially didn’t exist (1968-1980). The American Psychiatric Association once shut its eyes to all the evidence of PTSD.

Trauma physically changes the structure of your brain. New studies show your brain can change and grow at any age. Being in an unfamiliar environment and learning new things helps your brain grow. So getting into a new kind of therapy and learning new tools may be just what you need. No therapist can fix you, but a therapist can teach you new skills that will over time enable you to heal. Finding someone who can help you find out how you can recover must be a priority. You deserve to recover.

Visit Patience’s PTSD blog and check out her archived “Patience Press” newsletters. Go to http://patiencemason.blogspot.com

September 1st, 2007

Whoa! I am so delighted to be a Get Real Girl of the Week. I am Nancy Mills, the founder of Spirited Woman and the Creator of the Spirited Woman Approach to Life. For those of you who are new to Spirited Woman (http://www.TheSpiritedwoman.com), we are one of the leading on-line and off-line women's empowerment communities in the world. And I'm proud to say, I've accomplished a lot. Not bad for a woman who started six years ago with a dream and a vision.

Here's the story. Spirited Woman began as a manuscript. Yes, in 2001, I wrote Spirited Woman and completed it around September 11. Needless to say, at the time, there was not a person in the publishing industry eager to buy a manuscript on creative playfulness, empowerment and fun - particularly one with an underlying message that shouted out to the women of the world, "You are enough as you are." Just wasn't going to happen. But I was not going to let that stop Spirited Woman - I was and still am a woman on a mission. In 2002, a very wise friend suggested that I turn the manuscript into a workshop. She said if the women resonate with the concept they will come. Then you can sell the book. What a wise friend. She helped set Spirited Woman on a path.

That was five years ago. Since then over 700 women have taken the Spirited Woman Workshop in more than 20 cities nationwide. We now have a website that is winning all sorts of awards, teleseminars with famous women, a product line, special-special events and a really popular free Spirited Woman E-Newsletter. How did this happen? I never gave up. I genuinely believed with all my heart that there was a "real" need for this type of community for women. And I guess I was right. Thousands of women from around the world have been drawn naturally to Spirited Woman.

Has it been easy? No way. The road has been filled with challenges. It took three years to get our website up, many years to be financially stable, and six years to finally get a top literary agent to represent the Spirited Woman manuscript. As I write this - we are awaiting news from a publisher. But, here is the message I want every real woman to get - if you believe in the "realness" of what you do - then it will "really" happen. You my friends, are unstoppable. And as I always say, "Let's hear it for spirited women everywhere!"

To visit Nancy's Spirited Woman web site, go to www.thespiritedwoman.com

Aug 24th, 2007

Though you'd probably never know it if you met me now, during my adolescence from 5th grade through senior year of high school, I was tormented by my classmates, a total "outcast." Remember the Stephen King movie Carrie? What I went through in school makes that character's experiences seem like a Disney movie. I couldn't do what you have to do to be "cool." I wasn't good at all the things that makes someone popular in school - I didn't want to make fun of the chubby girl with glasses, the gay student, or the shy kid at the back of the class. If I saw something going on I didn't like, I spoke up. These might be great qualities to have when you're an adult, but they're not so wonderful when you're a teenager.

I remember being so lonely in school that I would sometimes wake up in the morning wishing myself to sickness so I wouldn't have to face the teasing and rejection I knew was coming the moment I walked through the school doors. And the harder I tried to fit in, the worse it always got. My parents tried everything to help, but n